Friday, September 19, 2008

Fireproof Trailer

video

Don't miss Fireproof the movie

David and I were blessed to attend a screening of the new movie Fireproof. Remember "Facing the Giants?" Well, Fireproof is from the same group of people. We LOVED "Facing the Giants". But, there were parts that were honestly a little cheesy. "Fireproof" is MUCH better.

If you grew up in the 80's you'll remember Kirk Cameron from the tv show "Growing Pains." Well, he is one of the main characters in "Fireproof." The storyline is about marriage and the music is great. I can't think of one married, engaged or dating couple that I would not reccommend this movie to. By the way, it's not really for kids.

It will be in theatres beginning September 26. If you get the chance, please go and see it. It will eventually go to dvd but the more people who see it in the first weekend, the greater chance that it will stay in theatres for a while. And people need to see this movie. Promote it with your email list, church groups, friends and family. Consider keeping someone's kids while they go on a a date. Don't miss it! You can learn more at http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/

One of the best things we can give our children is a strong marriage!

Domestic Adoption - Part 3


Let me share our experience with a birthmom that decided to parent.
When we met with this first birthmom the agency had told us up front that they were not sure what she was going to do. We had the choice of not accepting that case, but in the end we prayed about it and were at peace with it. The meeting went well and all seemed good. She said, “If I place my baby I want you guys to be the parents.”


What we heard was "She wants us to be the parents! GREAT!"

What the agency heard was: She is really struggling with this because she said "IF". There was never a moment when the agency led us on to believe one way or another. They always said we really don’t know what is going to happen and try not to get your hopes up.

In the end she decided to parent and it still hurt to hear that, but not as bad as if the agency wouldn’t have been looking out for us and trying to protect us. We went into it knowing that we were just going to take it one step at a time. It was almost one month to the day of the first match not working out that God blessed us with our son and his birth family. It is so hard to let go and let the adoption agency have control and let God have control when you so want to hold onto whatever you can in this process. But trust me it is SO worth it in the end. As much as we think about and care for the first mom we were matched with I know without question that Grayden is the child that God had picked out for our family. I wouldn’t change a thing about our journey. Remember that every step is a chance to learn more about yourself and our wonderful creator.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Domestic Adoptions Part 2

As I sit and think about why domestic adoptions are viewed the way it is I feel it is in large part due to the media. You may not realize that less than 1% of all domestic adoptions fail. That is such a small statistic and yet people hold onto that fear as though it happens all the time. The other reason is that there are so many people that try to do private adoptions with lawyers who don’t know what they are getting into. I strongly recommend using an agency that you trust and that has a good track record of placements.

We looked around at different agencies and felt like when it all comes down to it they are trying to protect us from being hurt and yet at the same time care for the birth family. One thing that I LOVED about our agency is that we were not matched right away with a birth mom. That way the agency could get to know her and work with her before she picks a family for her child. In that way they were protecting us from the chance of heartbreak should she decide to parent. Things like that are huge when you look at domestic adoption. In my next post I’ll share our experience with a birth mom that chose to parent. I'll leave you with a picture of our precious Greyden. Blessings! Rebecca

Monday, September 8, 2008

Adoption in the media

I receive a lot of "free" magazines but I rarely take the time to read them. My Mom gives me her People magazines when she's finished and I confess - I ALWAYS read them. I'm not sure why. There's usually nothing real educational in there. Tonight it "hit" me that People has written a lot of articles lately about adoption. First it was Brad and Angelina. Their clan comes from all over the world - but they're a family. It's beautiful to me.

This week in the September 8th edition there's an article about Sheryl Crow and her son Wyatt. Just a few years ago this same magazine would have said "Sheryl Crow and her adopted son, Wyatt". It's a pet peeve of mine when someone says "These are David and Lisa's sons, Kendall & Cameron and their adopted daughter, Caroline." I'm sure most people have no idea that it bugs me. Why can't people just say, "These are their kids - Kendall, Cameron and Caroline"? But the writers at People magazine are beginning to "get it" on some level.

But in the same issue there's an article on comedian Jay Thomas and the language the writer uses drives me nuts. "As a young man, comedian Jay Thomas put his baby boy up for adoption." I'd much rather them say , "placed his baby boy for adoption" or "made an adoption plan." Then again, a year or so ago it probably would have read "gave his baby boy up for adoption." which irritates me even more! It says that birthparents just give up their children. I highly doubt that's the case with most adoptions.

I'm guessing that noone has ever shared positive adoption language with these writers. Noone has ever shared it with most of you either. I wonder how many times I've made a comment that was hurtful and I never even knew it. So, in the weeks to come we'd love to share some of our insights on adoption and maybe we'll even share some positive adoption language.

I hope you'll check back for posts from our newest contributor, Rebecca. She and her husband adopted their precious son domestically and Rebecca has some great insight on birthfamilies and fears related to adopting domestically (from the U.S.).

Oh - on a positive note - People Magazine got it right when they quoted Jay Thomas' son who has recently been reunited with his birthfather:

"Eventually they came up with words to describe their unique bond.....

"He (Jay) started saying "This is my oldest son" and I would say "This is my biological father."

Still, Harding (the son) reserves the name "Dad" for Larry Harding, the man who raised him.

"No one can ever replace my dad."

Friday, September 5, 2008

Domestic Adoption

My husband and I decided to adopt after we learned that there would be challenges in us conceiving a child. After waiting 9 months we learned that there was a grandmother that wanted to meet with us. We were elated! We rushed down to Matthews North Carolina so that she could get to know us better.

As I sat there listening to her talk about how her daughter had given birth to a little boy that was across the street, and how proud she was of him and her daughter I realized something. I realized that the price of my dream of being a parent was going to cost this other family an incredible amount of pain. To see her first grandchild placed in a stranger’s home with just the mere promise of letters and pictures just didn’t seem right. It was the most heart breaking and joyful time in my life, and it was then that I accepted the call from God to minister and love on this family as he would have done.

We can’t just avoid domestic adoptions because of the fear that the birthmom shouldn’t have contact or you think that she will come and take the child back, that she is a drug user, and many other fears. We like most had some of these fears, but we knew this was where God wanted us. I think the most important step that we did in our process was to open our hearts up to God to be 100% in control. Fear is NEVER from God and if he calls us to adoption then we can’t be afraid of the people that make us parents. I am a firm believer that when we talk openly with love and respect for our children’s birthfamilies they will be more confident, and comfortable talking to us. After all it is their only biological connection.

If you have questions about domestic adoption, Rebecca would love to correspond with you! You can reach her at info@carolinespromise4u.org.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Caroline's Promise in the News

How exciting it was to see an article on the family trip that Caroline's Promise took to Guatemala this summer. Several of the students, parents and a teacher went on that trip. You can read the article online at http://www.news-record.com/content/2008/09/01/article/jones_students_connect_with_guatemalan_orphans

We're making plans for 2009 mission trips! If you'd like to be added to the email list and receive info as it comes available, email us at info@carolinespromise4u.org.