Let me share our experience with a birthmom that decided to parent.
When we met with this first birthmom the agency had told us up front that they were not sure what she was going to do. We had the choice of not accepting that case, but in the end we prayed about it and were at peace with it. The meeting went well and all seemed good. She said, “If I place my baby I want you guys to be the parents.”
What we heard was "She wants us to be the parents! GREAT!"
What the agency heard was: She is really struggling with this because she said "IF". There was never a moment when the agency led us on to believe one way or another. They always said we really don’t know what is going to happen and try not to get your hopes up.
In the end she decided to parent and it still hurt to hear that, but not as bad as if the agency wouldn’t have been looking out for us and trying to protect us. We went into it knowing that we were just going to take it one step at a time. It was almost one month to the day of the first match not working out that God blessed us with our son and his birth family. It is so hard to let go and let the adoption agency have control and let God have control when you so want to hold onto whatever you can in this process. But trust me it is SO worth it in the end. As much as we think about and care for the first mom we were matched with I know without question that Grayden is the child that God had picked out for our family. I wouldn’t change a thing about our journey. Remember that every step is a chance to learn more about yourself and our wonderful creator.